


we knew from the beginning that this wasn't never ending

by haecates



Category: Impulse (Comics), Robin (Comics), Teen Titans (Comics)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-06
Updated: 2016-05-06
Packaged: 2018-06-06 18:08:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6764530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haecates/pseuds/haecates
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She doesn’t ask about it again, just looks at him sometimes, when she thinks he won’t notice — he always does. That’s his blessing and also his curse.</p>
<p>He always notices when Kon looks at him too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	we knew from the beginning that this wasn't never ending

**Author's Note:**

> This is for Lauren — again — and Isabella. Thank you to everyone that left nice comments either here or on twitter (I'm @pamislays if you want to chat), you're all super great! ♡

Raven is the first one to notice — of course she is. She calls Tim to the side one day, asks if there had been a fight and Tim smiles, the way he had seen Bruce — Brucie — smile way too many times and tells her it will all be okay. Asks her to not interfere. She doesn’t. She watches as the days turn into weeks and weeks turn into a month and then two. After two months she asks again and Tim just nods.

He doesn’t say Dick tried talking to him about it and he felt like he would cry or he had never regretted a kiss more than that one. Or that just seeing Bart breaks his heart. He doesn’t talk about how _lonely_ he is.

He nods and smiles like he did the time before, says it’s all good. Says he has everything under control.

She doesn’t ask about it again, just looks at him sometimes, when she thinks he won’t notice — he always does. That’s his blessing and also his curse.

He always notices when Kon looks at him too.

……………

He doesn’t feel like going back to Gotham. Doesn’t feel like going to Blüdhaven either. He thinks about it all the way back to the Tower — Metallo had attacked Metropolis while Superman was off-world doing god-knows-what with the Justice League and Supergirl asked for back up — and, when he gets there, he decides he will stay.

……………

It’s weird having the tower all to himself. It’s weird being this alone and useless — not searching for an answer, no code to crack. Well, no code he _wants_ to crack.

Understanding Conner Kent is as hard as it is scary.

It’s two a.m. when he steps out of his room, wearing his old pajamas — all covered in batman symbols, an old joke he and Alfred have and Bruce hates — and drags himself to the kitchen, makes some popcorn while whistling to the tune of _We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together_. It’s around half past two when he notices Bart is also in the room.

“You know you can’t really surprise me, right?” He asks, a tiny smile on his lips, even though he didn’t turn to look at him. He takes the popcorn bag out of the microwave and opens it, lets the hot air out.

Bart doesn’t really move. “Wasn’t trying to.”

It had been like that for two months. Before everything, Tim was his best friend — of course, whatever was going on between he and Kon had always been stronger, but he was also there. He was also their friend. No one really tried to talk to him.

Tim puts the popcorn into two bowls and leaves one in the counter for him, walks to the couch and just sits there. “Are you staying?”

“Don’t feel like going home.”

_Why not_ , Tim thinks. Two months ago he would have asked and listened. They would have talked about it.

Now he moves in the couch and bites his cheek before saying, his voice weird. “I’m watching a movie.”

He doesn’t need to look to know that Bart is smiling and, damn, if he hadn’t missed being the one responsible for it.

……………

They argue about the movie for what it feels like forever. Bart wants a cheesy one, forced romantic subplot and probably a kissing in the rain scene after the guy goes after the girl because he finally noticed she is everything he had ever wanted. Tim wants to not feel so vulnerable while having Bart in the room, thank you very much.

They end up deciding sci-fi is a good idea, but then Tim can’t decide which movie he wants because he loves them all and Bart is really unhelpful, saying Tim can choose whatever they’ll watch. He is a pain in the ass when people disagree with him.

“What about a scary one?” Tim says and Bart moves in the couch, he is on his fourth bowl of popcorn already.

“How scary?”

Tim grins because nothing can really scare them — well, almost nothing, but it’s not like their real fears were made into movies yet. “Like ghosts and stuff like that.”

……………

It’s a movie about a girl filming herself in a forest while talking to the camera non-stop. And there’s a witch. Bart stopped eating his popcorn after the first few scenes and he moved from the edge of his seat to crossing his legs to watching the whole thing while standing up.

When he sits down again, Tim grabs his hand and pushes him closer because he knows how to make him _stop_.

It just never felt like _that_ before.

Before, when Bart put his head on his lap, Tim could actually breathe. He doesn’t know what changed. He doesn’t know why it feels so fucking intimate when he runs his fingers through his hair or when he notices Bart is smiling again.

No one should be smiling while watching a scary movie, but Tim’s lips are also curled in what would be a smile if he wasn’t overthinking it.

“I missed you.” Bart says, moves a little so he can look at Tim and Tim deeply wishes he hadn’t done that, but that’s what Bart always does — what Tim wish he hadn’t. He is the constant reminder that Tim doesn’t have everything under control. And he missed it.

When Tim doesn’t say anything, Bart sits up and turns the movie off — someone was screaming. It was a boy, but neither of them had been paying attention since all the students decided to camp at the haunted forest. “I’m sorry.”

“You didn’t do anything.” Tim says even though deep down he blames him.

_Why him too?_ He thought when he first realized what Kon was doing. _Why can’t I be enough?_

If he couldn’t be enough for Kon, how could he expect Batman to not be looking over his shoulder and waiting for Nightwing to come back to him. To not feel the punch in his stomach whenever Red Hood called him what he really was. _A replacement._

For everyone, even his superboy.

Well, not his anymore, _theirs_.

“I didn’t know you two–” Bart starts again, but Tim looks at him. Really looks at him and he stops. The stare is another thing he learned with Bruce. He learned a lot of things with Bruce — even his love life was a broken mess, just like his.

“You didn’t do anything.” Tim repeats, still looking at him and Bart’s face is his favorite one to analyze. He had always liked puzzles and Bart is the exact opposite. His face shows everything he is thinking and it’s disconcerting how vulnerable he is.

Bart gets up, messes his already messy hair and his freckles glow against the light. _Oh, that’s why,_  Tim thinks. Because he is beautiful in all the ways Tim will never be. He has the boyish smile Tim always admired on Dick, but it suits him better. Dick is obviously pretty, all sharp edges and smiles and blue eyes that would make you jump from a cliff if he said please. Bart’s beauty is hidden behind his laugh and dismantled hair.

_Tim always enjoyed puzzles._

“I think I better go to bed.” Bart says, Tim allows himself to smile at him before he turns to leave. Actually walks out of the room like he is waiting–

Like he knows what Tim will do.

“Bart?” Tim asks and Bart turns. His eyes all wide and curious. Tim’s voice isn’t weird when he says what was trapped on his chest. It’s some kind of relieved. “I missed you too.”

Bart smiles again. And, damn, if Tim didn’t miss being the reason behind that.


End file.
